ok, i saw this awhile ago, but it’s just completely fascinating…you MUST check it out!
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say your piece
interesting day…
i’ve changed the links which follow each journal entry slightly; instead of linking to the forum, clicking the ‘comment..’ brings you to a form where you can enter a topic and all the retort you like. i’ve always wanted the forum to be a place where people can respond to what i write because sometimes i (not a confession) get really carried away; further than i should…heh
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wandering mind
children can’t resist the urge to squash a bug when they see it. why? because they can.people will walk across a pristine lawn of fresh snow, just to leave their mark.
is the convenience of the ‘track forward’ button on a cd what causes the impatience when a commercial interrupts your favourite television show?
why is hindsight so 20/20? seems unfair to not have the same opportunity the first time around!
shouldn’t ‘greed’ have more letters in it?
how come people pay so much attention when you wear sunglasses in a store? if they’d been off the whole while, nobody would notice you at all.
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everlasting
“brown-eyed boy meets a blue-eyed girl
you can sew it up, but you still see the tear
baby’s got blue skies, but in this i’m a raincloud;
ours is a stormy kind of love
oh, oh…the sweetest thing” — bono
never one for timing: when i’ve finally figured out exactly what i want; she no longer does.
the nice thing about sewing it up, but still seeing the tear is the same as a poem: a poem is still pretty even once you rip it from the notebook and have all the ruffled edges on the side of the page. love may be fickle and even fragile, but it’s forever; wrinkles, tears, and smudges do nothing to the poem’s impact when you remember its lines.
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not enough time
quote found while cleaning hard drive:
“how come you have enough time to go out and make other people fall in love with you, but you dont have enough time to pay attention to the one who already does…”
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toilet salon
what an unusual dream last night:
i was attending the upcoming family reunion (to be this sunday, august 31), and although plenty of things happened, only one seems to stick in memory. my grandmother’s house is the setting, where the reunions always occur. now although her bathroom is adequately sized, my dream exaggerated the room’s dimensions to approximately that of your average shopping mall hair salon, and strangely enough; that random comparison rings true in the sense that stationed in precise increments around the perimeter were white toilets, much like the arrangement of styling chairs at a salon. all of the toilets had clear water, with fish swimming around; almost like it was some bizarre pet store; one end of the room even had a black countertop and an attendant of some sort.
a line had grown which strung out of the room and beyond my line of vision; i’m not sure what the line was waiting for, but my position was almost an exact halfway from the front to the back (as far as i could see, anyway). of course, after standing idle for long enough, the urge to defecate came along, and the longer i stood there, the more intense and unavoidable the urge became. after looking around a bit, i noticed a toilet unlike the others in some manner (i don’t quite remember if it was the colour, size, or some other attribute), but it was out of place; just floating in the middle of the room, rather than along a wall between two others. i crept over to it, visually inspecting the unit for any signs of life, which there were none. now normally, i have enough sense of humility to keep my excretions private, but in this particular moment, all bets were off — it could not wait another minute! so, i disrobed appropriately and did my business…
suddenly, everyone turned and gasped in horror. not because a man was shitting before them in public, but because there were two rare fish residing in that bowl. their gasps became riotous and angry words; the mob seemed ready to stone me…i cleaned and packaged myself, and reassured everyone that the bowl was empty. when the store clerk came to check, all of a sudden there were two small fish swimming among 4 long, wooden door-coloured links of faeces; both fish very exotic-looking with one being a sky blue with long, frilly fins; the other a yellow and orange with odd bulges and also extravagant extremities. they must have been hiding in the “drain cave”, as i surely checked before i chunked. turns out this was some unorthodox pet store, and these were two special imported fish; and the line was a lottery of sorts.
i don’t quite remember the rest, nor the outcome, but i do know that i spent quite a while trying to rectify the situation, in all my embarrassment. and i do know now that i never want to show my bare ass to my relatives for any reason whatsoever.
listening to: u2 – outside broadcast (from the zoo tv tour)
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search for meaning and onesself
i’ve never been so awake in all my life — even after approximately zero hours of sleep! i thought perhaps my sickness with mono was recurring, but considering how early i wake, and how late i sleep; and my general lack of fatigue, i doubt it. i disagree with the common maternal instinct to seek medical attention for any illness or affliction that comes along; especially select specialists — including those of religious ministry.
it’s interesting how teenagers in general (not that i am one anymore) feel as if they have some deep introspective grasp on reality — including the ability to understand their parents (for example), yet the parents have little to no clue whatsoever into the lives of their children. i guess as we get older, the everyday struggles and burdens dampen the pristine condition and the wide eyed wonderment we’re born with; and it’s not until our teenage years that those problems of life first begin appearing — coincidentally the same point in life we begin to realise, understand, and deal with the world around us – a kind of utopian middle-ground where the innocence of childhood and the tarnish of reality collide, save for a small percentage of us who carry childhood and adolescence right into adulthood.
personally, i wouldn’t want my life any other way; even in complete silence and total solitaire, existence is never futile; never lacking the reason to continue. the meaning of life is just that: to survive no matter what. i refuse to let the rest of the world vandalise my spirits, the same graffiti that causes adults to lose that innocence and connectivity to their surroundings. perhaps this is why 95% of the world’s population believes in some religious being; it is some type of crutch to rest their trampled lives upon? but it does make me wonder — if the rest of society genuinely knows or sees something in religion that i can’t, or maybe i am right to say they all suffer from some mass-delusion to which i am immune?
i don’t know, but everyday is an ongoing battle to determine which truths are true — if any are at all! i have attributed this indecision to the fact that i am very analytical; that i look for empirical evidence and logical proof to rationalise everything; very rarely relying upon faith or intuition to justify my thoughts. yet the lack of explanations for so many questions and the helplessness we sometimes feel when we have no control over certain things in our lives really does make one want to point to some “magical” underlying force somewhere.