Category: everyday minutae

felt like shit this morning; and for most of the day. why is feeling sub-par described as such? no human being has ever been transposed to reside as an actual segment of feces; so how was it ever assumed that shit felt bad? in fact, many people feel better–even good–after shitting. my assumption is that it must not be too pleasant to be squeezed through someone (or any living creature’s, for that matter) anal sphincter. such a game of mostly chutes and few ladders must not be fun at all.

speaking of odd observations, i noticed while on the deck the other morning having a bowl of cereal, that birds have a very distinct locomotion while not airborne. they hop about like oddly shaped basketballs; balls about two-thirds through the lifespan of a typical bounce. you know, how at first the bounces are high, then they start trailing off, and eventually the bounce somehow becomes a roll. well just before a basketball were to start rolling from the mid-bounce–that’s how birds move. interesting, that.

enough for now. i’ve got work to do. ?muy importante!

i wonder what it’s like when you finally reach an age of immobilisation? you know, when the day comes that no matter how much effort is exerted, you just can’t climb a small flight of steps, or climb into your car. i was thinking this morning over a spot of oats and strawberries how i’m young and healthy now, and my grandparents aren’t…but they used to be; and how they have difficulty doing various (many) things. what must one feel like when they can no longer perform typical tasks that the rest of us take for granted? frustration? despair? denial? i hope i never have to find out, but unless i die early, it’s inevitable. what a bleak realisation!

listening to:
Underneath
The Verve Pipe

arrr, matey! thar be a fray a-brewin’ on the high seas. best be gettin’ ready…the roost spots an isle of treasure ahead on the horizon!

i had the scare of a lifetime last night, while trying to fall asleep. normally people are already unconscious when their body slows down and goes under; but after waking up for a lavatory run, the return voyage to slumberville was a frightening one. seems my body was winding down, yet my mind was wide awake. i could feel my breathing go shallow, and my heartbeat fade; to the point i was having to mindfully breathe (normally you just do it), my extremeties (including my head) were going numb, and i couldn’t find a pulse anywhere. for sure my body was gradually dying…or so i thought. i jumped out of bed and did 150 pushups as quickly as my body would flex them. the return of a pulse! somehow though, after lying back down; it still felt like death was knocking. at some point i must’ve just given up and fallen asleep though; unsure whether i’d see morning’s light. but here i am…as usual. hopefully that hell will never haunt this guy again!

listening to: the evaporating fizz of a diet dr. pepper

patrons of cub foods are slow. employees are slightly quicker. and i must appear in need of a bathroom; as my anxiety has me doing the pee-pee dance while i’m forced to wait.

i’ve never seen people move with such a lack of speed than today at the express lane. i, with my two boxes of snack crackers, stood watching this woman (of capable age and build) transport each item from one spot to another 1 foot away. then to the plastic satchel. it’s as if she was in the land of make-believe, and she was playing the part of a contstruction crane, lifting 25,000 tons of material around. and cranes, due to their immense size and load, do move slowly, but she was one bloody woman with a can of cream corn. the whole scenario had me questioning the concept of ‘express checkout’. her actions completely negated the ‘express’ part…ugh.

several photos/webcam-captures await; though they won’t be posted until wednesday night. so if you’ve been waiting patiently…continue to do so. it’s not like you’re holding your breath beneath the pool’s horizon : – P

listening to: in the z’s cd changer: creed – weathered, nickelback – silver side up | sinatra – my way | deltron 3030 | oldies mix | u2 – best of 80’s | u2 – best of 90’s

still getting used to so much attention in the z. at a graduation party yesterday, a crowd gathered large enough to halt or hinder traffic. did they think paul walker was inside or something? nope; just me. ha!

as i write, i’m also revising every bit of poetry on this site. some just a word here or there; others seeing full rewrites, verse additions, removals, etc. hopefully in each case it’s an improvement.

not much else to say…weather is shitty on weekends, and appealing on weekdays. with my luck; how completely unsurprising!

new photos await. just gotta find time to post them…try back later. and don’t forget to post in the forum (link immediately below)!

i…hurt myself today
to see if i still feel
that old, familiar sting
the only thing that’s real.

…an excerpt of the lyrics from “hurt”, originally by nine inch nails; but most recently recorded by johnny cash, in a spooky, but very effective acoustic version. how befitting of today, valentine’s; what i’ve labelled ‘the big nothing day’. aside from one occasion, this holiday has served as nothing more than a reminder of how meaningful other people can be in one’s life, even if it sometimes seems they’re insignificant. and this year it is doubly-so, that the evening at this point is destined to be quiet and solitary on a holiday of love and also a friday. apparently even my single friends are preoccupied with something other than sharing their attention with me; as if i’m somehow beneath or unworthy of it.

these preoccupations came as no help this morning while driving to work; and aside from being melodramatic about the details, by the time i arrived at the office, i was shaken, stirred and ready to sob myself dry. it wasn’t a pleasant trip whatsoever. at least the company i share at the office is such that i was replaced into my normal contented disposition. i think at any other job i would still be sour even by 3 in the afternoon. i guess that’s something to be thankful for, but hey, this isn’t thanksgiving.

i have a feeling i’ll be given plenty of free time tonight to continue these thoughts, so i’ll go ahead and tighten the spigot for now. enjoy the day if you can, if not, know that the boat you sail in isn’t alone in the ocean.