Category: everyday minutae

Categories
everyday minutae

gas & tech rant, jack’s indecision

i have been meaning to post so many things over the past 2 weeks, but alas, i have neither written things down to transcribe now, nor do i really have anything to whine about right at the moment, save for the completely normal dissatisfaction with the weather. what sort of old man have i become that the weather is so bloody important??

if something does deserve a complaint or two, it’s the petroleum industry and the prices we are forced to pay just to sustain our livelihoods–and by ‘prices’, i can’t help but feel somewhat guilty in my space-age bullet engaged in the rush hour gridlock with thousands of others…all sitting in place polluting as if earth has no feelings. not to personify it too obsessively, but in many ways i do prefer to think of inanimate objects as having feelings or personalities, only because it allows me to focus additional attention to something which might ordinarily go overlooked or tidied away in the ‘taken for granted’ bin. but back to the thought at hand, not only am i stuck still on the road, but i’m polishing the exhaust pipes with top-grade petrol as well. the least industry could do is make one of the two slightly more bearable: ‘clean’ fuel, or ‘cheap’ fuel. i’m sick of paying 2 dollars per gallon only to watch nearly half of each gallon flitter away in the rear-view as evaporation while i click the cd changer to shuffle a better song while i wait.

back to this weather compulsivity… apparently a slight mist/rain has enveloped our fair suburb, and although i don’t mind a little sprinkle or rain here and there, i will be awfully pissed if when i awake in tomorrow morning i find another thin film of snow obscuring the ordinary healing processing of spring from its winter ailments. if i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a million times: i fooking hate winter…with such a passion that i often aspire to become a supreme being someday wherein the power of the seasons will be completely within my control. then again, perhaps instead of complaining about winter, i should either move to a warmer climate, or be satisfied with things as is; because a warmer climate here in minnesota–even by just a couple degrees–could very well be the onset of another ice age. god forbid… i still wish to live forever, but if another ice age comes, i would beg for mortality.

tonight i had the distinct pleasure of wasting over an hour. seems the ‘save’ functionality of one of my recent gamecube games went a bit wonky; and all that i’d accomplished in that hour suddenly vanished… just like that 11th hour research paper that mysteriously disappears into the circuitry. i found myself cursing wildly for a few minutes in disbelief, then as acceptance sank in, i just flipped the damn thing off with a sparky bit of attitude. amazing how such small things in a single day can be drawn out so poetically once the events cross the threshold of my brain, and slip back out through my fingertips. good ol’ wordy aj.

jack. what sort of drama must have occurred with him over the past week. first, he briskly announces that he’s moving out by month’s end, with some bloke he barely knows; one that jack openly admits can get on his nerves. then, just as quickly as he was about to leave, he rescinded the departure and decided to stay after all. in some ways i’m glad, but also disappointed, because on one hand it would be nice to have that extra bit of quiet around the place, and get my bathroom back, as well as increase the probability of enduring a shower with actual hot water!?! but on the other hand, things wouldn’t be quite as interesting, and it’s always awesome to snag the leftover slices of pizza when he prepares himself such a dinner. one thing i do want to change though is his peculiar interest in skimping on the bathroom tissue. he normally prides himself on overspending for items of marginally better quality than normally-priced merchandise, yet he managed to buy a googol-pack of toilet paper which–as an artist, i can make this comparison–could quite easily double as tracing paper. yes, the last thing i want when wiping is to see my fingers through invisible paper holding fecal matter….or at least the illusion thereof. again the little things which sprout the largest beanstalks in the world of my journal

on a different note, i’m taking a more proactive approach to remove the ‘winter weight’ which has plagued me for some months now, and can say that progress is indeed being made. my dimples are finally re-emerging, as well as definition on my stomach. only two more months to bikini season.. or in my case, bikini watching season.. heh. i just don’t like the idea of going though any season with extra bodily baggage, especially one like summer, where a svelte physique really does add to the enjoyment of things.

ok, that’s about enough for this guy tonight…i’ll attempt to gather additional thoughts in a more effective manner for the next post; so stay tuned!

Categories
everyday minutae miscellaneous

simple sentiment

Categories
everyday minutae

storage of mistreatment

to err is human.

but what does one human do when another errs against them? forgive and forget? accept an apology? ignore completely? it’s a concept i’m struggling with right now. as much as someone wants my attention, they won’t take any responsibility whatsoever for their actions against me. in fact, they always point the finger in every direction but their own. it’s important to realise that a pointing hand points at least 3 fingers back at yourself. sometimes it isn’t the whole rest of the world that has the problems; sometimes one has to understand that maybe they have something to do with the state of things, because as we all know, the world is what we make of it.

i had such a great weekend that i can’t wait–can’t wait!!–to tune back in tomorrow night; a precursor to this weekend’s activities. just bleedin amazing. i’ll have to look into finding a better adjective, because amazing just doesn’t seem to do her justice.

my brother justin made me the most incredible bit of furniture in his ‘free’ time last week; and along with my parents, delivered it to my place sunday evening. it is a slight larger than i had anticipated, but that’s a good thing. just a bit of rearranging my bedroom to accommodate it, which i’ve mostly accomplished. it’s a very welcome piece to my collection… thanks bro! my parents also brought enough of my old clothes (from hs, etc.) that should i donate them to goodwill, i could gain credit for clothing a small country. my closet is already full; the last thing i need is hundreds of new items to try and stuff someplace. looks like i’ll have to find a hidden storage space to stick all the boxes of stuff. geesh!

been able to drive the z this week…god i love that car to pieces! i am thinking of rekindling the issue of inadequate tires sold with it; because i shouldn’t be paying $4k to drive a piece of shit all winter, with this mechanical miracle snoozing in the garage. heated leather seats are the fucking bomb! heh.

that’s all for now… still working on that photography!

Categories
everyday minutae

just a moment…

i originally had quite the grandiose post planned; but the misfortune of having one’s grandmother pass away for christmas seems to have drawn some of the priority away from that posting. stay tuned…

Categories
art & photography everyday minutae

running to stand still, infinite simplicity

many people think of art (visual and literature) as attempting to recreate life and reality. in a way this is true, but it’s an impossible goal which ends up leaching the meaning of art altogether. it is utterly futile, impractical, and impossible to fully represent the detail and complexities of the world around us–there’s just too much; a never-ending chain of minutiae that has to be truncated at some point. art is about the simplification of reality. it is stripping the sights, shapes, colours, ideas, emotions, events, etc. down to the most common recognisable denominator. i and many, many others often lose sight of this. it’s a skill, really, and requires quite a bit of practice to master; to be able to let go.

running to stand still:

such an obvious comparison, to think of my life and relationships around me as a similarity to my routine of running with the treadmill; especially one spinning at a speed greater than my legs are conditioned to maintain. lately though, it feels as if i’m not even able to reach the treadmill; as if it were being trolled about on the flatbed of a truck, and i’m running to first catch the truck, before i can hop onto the tread and try to keep up with its pace. others’ priorities have a way of driving that truck right out of my grasp, and unfortunately, aside from politely asking the drivers to slow the hell down, there is little one person can do to affect the trajectory and velocity of someone else and their vehicle. i have lost so much ground with people, if this were a racetrack, i would expect them all to ‘lap’ me pretty soon. amazingly, television has proven a more influential force in peoples’ lives than their connection to me. interesting that reruns of a sitcom or a sports game is the more attractive opportunity cost to those around me than the life and friendship we share. sure we’re all ‘busy’, but you can tell how important you are to someone by how much time they are willing to make for you. take parents for example: they have so many things going on in life, and no matter how high the stack of responsibilities get, they can always make room for their child. or take three peers as example: one in college, one in graduate school, and one grad student out of state. the first two have plenty to do with school and work, but yet find enough time to spend going out with friends, and have some relaxation time here and there, despite their different educational rankings. now take the third, who on top of everything the first two deal with, has distance against them; yet they find a way to not only overcome it all, but also repair a relationship and even take on an engagement. humans are very capable beings indeed, and it is true that it’s just a matter of will and determination with how much accomplishment one can achieve versus how much they’re capable.

Categories
everyday minutae miscellaneous

timing is everything

the following editorial is my adaptation of an email from a brilliant writer/friend of mine to the north, saara. she cited a source of ‘thought for your week: timing is everything!’ by jill devine.

have you applied yourself in both thought and action with the best intentions in life, only to be frustrated with the results?

perhaps a book, melody, or film lifted your inspiration or motivated you in some way to pursue a dream; some goal that you’d never imagined, or maybe one left wayside for something more readily attainable. popular phrases such as ‘build it and they will come’, ‘you get what you pay for’, ‘give a little to get a little’, etc. help reinforce the notion that if you try, you will achieve. so what of the disappointment when having tried, our just rewards don’t follow? are you an exception to the proverbs, or is it something else?

part of the problem lies in human nature, the other for incomplete instructions. it is unmistakably human to seek the most instant gratification in any endeavour; but the truth is that not every reward is available at the flick of a switch, and that’s where the proverbs are incomplete–they don’t speak of the waiting period required for things to reach fruition, at least they don’t speak it in the same breath (think: ‘anything good is worth waiting for’). most ancient religious texts describe everything as having an order and a season.

for example, imagine a farmer swapping the seasons in which he sows and harvests his crops; he will likely find himself amid failure, at least in terms of his expectation to reap a viable product. he would do well to pay more attention to the calendar. or imagine the workflow of a baker. he can mix a cake batter all he likes, and even place it in the oven, but unless he endures a bit of waiting while it rises, he’ll have little more than a tin of goo to serve or sell.

unfortunately, we operate with the best of intentions and grand expectations, and feel defeat when at the end of the rainbow is more rainbow. If the results speak contrary to your expectations, double-check the season–you might just be early. don’t mistake ‘delay’ for ‘denial’ by life. timing is crucial, and patience is a vital ingredient when planning for success. the road to each reward is a variable distance, and your mileage may vary.

Categories
everyday minutae

writing, and then not. justice is served.

i am making it a goal to update the poetry index on the site. i’ve met a few people over the past week who like (and like to write) themselves, and although my older work is strong enough to stand on its own, having recent work readily available is quite desirable. making visitors sift through hundreds of journal entries looking for stuff isn’t exactly ‘user friendly’.

on another note; i got a certain satisfaction yesterday while snail-mailing payment for an ebay auction. not because i was removing money from my account, but because of the envelope in which it was submitted. i’ll tell you why:

once upon a time, after being laid off from a job, the offending employer mailed an ‘exit interview’ along with a SASE; which triggered two distinct thoughts upon receipt of the materials. first, how tacky was it to ask a favour of someone from whom you’ve just abruptly stolen their livelihood? and if the information this interview intended to garnish was of any value, why didn’t they conduct it at the time of termination? second, i can have a pretty ruthless tongue when i speak through my fingertips, so in the best interests of burning as few bridges as possible, i found it more valuable to hold still my opinions; and recycle the materials. the page(s) of the interview used as scrap paper–the empty reverse sides to detail driving directions to job interviews. the postage-paid envelope remedied of its black, laser-etched addresses with simple white adhesive labels, now suitable to be reused to mail an ebay payment. a certain element of justice was felt in this.

actually, now that i think about it, that envelope had the same destination listed for both the addressee and the return address. what does the postal service do in the event of insufficient postage or misdirected mail with an envelope marked as such? it wouldn’t be a fair loophole for me to be able to write a letter to bill gates out in seattle, and instead of chipping in the 37 cents, to cheap-out and list him as both the sender and recipient, but omit the stamp. i would think they would deliver it as a sort of c.o.d. and ask the addressee to pay the remaining postage due in order to receive that parcel. anyone have an insight to this? let me know if you do.

look at that, a simple 2 sentence entry became this enlarged gland on the throat of my journal. oh well, at least it’s of sound content. and it took long enough to type that now i need to clip my fingernails.