Category: miscellaneous

what an unusual dream last night:

i was attending the upcoming family reunion (to be this sunday, august 31), and although plenty of things happened, only one seems to stick in memory. my grandmother’s house is the setting, where the reunions always occur. now although her bathroom is adequately sized, my dream exaggerated the room’s dimensions to approximately that of your average shopping mall hair salon, and strangely enough; that random comparison rings true in the sense that stationed in precise increments around the perimeter were white toilets, much like the arrangement of styling chairs at a salon. all of the toilets had clear water, with fish swimming around; almost like it was some bizarre pet store; one end of the room even had a black countertop and an attendant of some sort.

a line had grown which strung out of the room and beyond my line of vision; i’m not sure what the line was waiting for, but my position was almost an exact halfway from the front to the back (as far as i could see, anyway). of course, after standing idle for long enough, the urge to defecate came along, and the longer i stood there, the more intense and unavoidable the urge became. after looking around a bit, i noticed a toilet unlike the others in some manner (i don’t quite remember if it was the colour, size, or some other attribute), but it was out of place; just floating in the middle of the room, rather than along a wall between two others. i crept over to it, visually inspecting the unit for any signs of life, which there were none. now normally, i have enough sense of humility to keep my excretions private, but in this particular moment, all bets were off — it could not wait another minute! so, i disrobed appropriately and did my business…

suddenly, everyone turned and gasped in horror. not because a man was shitting before them in public, but because there were two rare fish residing in that bowl. their gasps became riotous and angry words; the mob seemed ready to stone me…i cleaned and packaged myself, and reassured everyone that the bowl was empty. when the store clerk came to check, all of a sudden there were two small fish swimming among 4 long, wooden door-coloured links of faeces; both fish very exotic-looking with one being a sky blue with long, frilly fins; the other a yellow and orange with odd bulges and also extravagant extremities. they must have been hiding in the “drain cave”, as i surely checked before i chunked. turns out this was some unorthodox pet store, and these were two special imported fish; and the line was a lottery of sorts.

i don’t quite remember the rest, nor the outcome, but i do know that i spent quite a while trying to rectify the situation, in all my embarrassment. and i do know now that i never want to show my bare ass to my relatives for any reason whatsoever.

listening to: u2 – outside broadcast (from the zoo tv tour)