Category: Blog

no wonder they call them 'tax'is

i think my recent trip to japan spoilt me in many ways. or maybe it opened my eyes to some things here in america we all take for granted that are just messed up. like the concept of gratuity for every mother-loving service under the sun. you bagged my groceries while i was preoccupied with purchasing them. plus 15 percent. you opened a door allowing my arms to fall into atrophy. plus 10 percent. unless your job doesn’t already pay you a wage, how about doing your fucking job and not carrying some chip of entitlement on your shoulder that people owe you something extra when you’re just scraping by doing the bare minimum? and if your job doesn’t pay you a wage, you are a fucking idiot; wages are why you get a job in the first place.

today i travelled from san francisco to minneapolis, taking two shared van services to get both to one airport and home from the other. it’s like a miniature city bus, with slightly more convienience that you pay a significant premium to use, versus municipal transportation. having no luggage other than my laptop backpack, i neither asked nor received any assistance from the van driver aside from his apt handling of the rotation of the steering wheel, and the depressing of floor pedals in the proper sequence.

now i’m not sure about anyone else, but i and nobody i’ve ever seen has ever tipped a bus driver. yet when this guy chased me down inside the airport after leaving the van and pestered me to give him a tip–he actually made me sign a receipt to verify he was getting zero for a tip; it’s hard to tell who was more insulted. him for not getting a tip and having not done anything to earn one, or me who is assaulted by a greedy slob who had no qualms about cursing at me in his native slavic tongue.

what ever happened to people having pride in a job well done? or even just doing your job satisfactorily if for nothing else than to avoid consequence? america’s service industries are infected with too many people who expect me to pay extra for them to just do their damn job. “gratuity” is to be paid for exceptional service… for a favour, or for going above and beyond to please me as a customer. if your idea of A+ service includes sharing aloud fictional adult scenarios involving my mother and livestock in a ukranian dialect, my idea of gratuity is not exhausting my egg mcmuffin’s calories in physical appreciation… to your face.

japan is one country that does it right. people very happy to do their jobs and do them so well you couldn’t complain if you tried. and their only expectation? that you are satisfied. in fact, trying to offer a tip there can result in two outcomes: a) they are insulted by your condescending charity, or b) assume you overpaid and graciously correct your oversight as a hapless customer by handing the extra back.

i guess my point is that the guilt–and the guilt trips–surrounding the american system of gratuities needs to stop, and i am fully preparing myself to take a stand by “being an asshole” and not just tipping because i’m supposed to for some mysterious dogmatic reason. and if you’re a service provider who supplements an hourly wage with tips, that’s fine, but unless you’re willing to go beyond “meets expectations” when we meet, you should expect nothing extra from me either.

listening to:
Brian Vander Ark
Brian Vander Ark