Categories
everyday minutae

everyday dying

arrr, matey! thar be a fray a-brewin’ on the high seas. best be gettin’ ready…the roost spots an isle of treasure ahead on the horizon!

i had the scare of a lifetime last night, while trying to fall asleep. normally people are already unconscious when their body slows down and goes under; but after waking up for a lavatory run, the return voyage to slumberville was a frightening one. seems my body was winding down, yet my mind was wide awake. i could feel my breathing go shallow, and my heartbeat fade; to the point i was having to mindfully breathe (normally you just do it), my extremeties (including my head) were going numb, and i couldn’t find a pulse anywhere. for sure my body was gradually dying…or so i thought. i jumped out of bed and did 150 pushups as quickly as my body would flex them. the return of a pulse! somehow though, after lying back down; it still felt like death was knocking. at some point i must’ve just given up and fallen asleep though; unsure whether i’d see morning’s light. but here i am…as usual. hopefully that hell will never haunt this guy again!

listening to: the evaporating fizz of a diet dr. pepper

Categories
art & photography

z photos!

who wants photos?

Categories
everyday minutae

slow motion

patrons of cub foods are slow. employees are slightly quicker. and i must appear in need of a bathroom; as my anxiety has me doing the pee-pee dance while i’m forced to wait.

i’ve never seen people move with such a lack of speed than today at the express lane. i, with my two boxes of snack crackers, stood watching this woman (of capable age and build) transport each item from one spot to another 1 foot away. then to the plastic satchel. it’s as if she was in the land of make-believe, and she was playing the part of a contstruction crane, lifting 25,000 tons of material around. and cranes, due to their immense size and load, do move slowly, but she was one bloody woman with a can of cream corn. the whole scenario had me questioning the concept of ‘express checkout’. her actions completely negated the ‘express’ part…ugh.

several photos/webcam-captures await; though they won’t be posted until wednesday night. so if you’ve been waiting patiently…continue to do so. it’s not like you’re holding your breath beneath the pool’s horizon : – P

listening to: in the z’s cd changer: creed – weathered, nickelback – silver side up | sinatra – my way | deltron 3030 | oldies mix | u2 – best of 80’s | u2 – best of 90’s

Categories
thought of the day

shit on the brain

speaking of shit: why is it that when you’ve got to shit; you’re full of shit, yet you must “take a shit” to get rid of it? seems to me it should be called “leaving a shit”

word of the day: shrinedom

motherfucker of the day: tar (as in road pavement tar)

Categories
thought of the day

leap life

it would be great to live to 366 years and see if i can remember a special event or anniversary for each day of the year.

Categories
miscellaneous

where’s recovery?

five stages of grief, trials, and tribulations — Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance

Categories
poetry

food fable

once upon a time, there was a woman with this urge to eat; not an uncommon desire to begin with. craving a sandwich, she set off to her local grocer to pick up the necessities; specifically a loaf of wheat bread.now the bread happened to be on sale, and what a good deal it was! it wasn’t even the “day old” bread that is often reduced in price once it’s surpassed its freshness/expiration period; but it was apparently freshly-baked, and it seemed too good to be true. so the woman placed it in her basket and proceeded to the checkout.

once home, loaf in hand, she concocted the most wonderful sandwich she’d ever had. so good in fact, that she wanted another. but when she reached in to grab 2 new slices; what she pulled out was shocking: 2 slices of pumpernickel bread–though moldy and rotten in the center, as if a month old! “how odd,” she thought as she dipped back into the thin veil of the bread-bag and test her luck; like one of those carnival crane attractions, where you try to lift out your prize and drop it into the chute, and into your hands. but the remainder of the bag was nothing but rotten pumpernickel bread…now what was she to do with this?

into the car, and off to the store she went; hoping to rectify the situation as some sort of mistake. she’d been overcharged on receipts-past and other small mishaps; but that’s occasionally to be expected when you throw the imperfection of human beings into any equation.

once arrived, she sought the manager on duty, since he was likely to have both the understanding and authority to deal with the situation. to her surprise, the manager gave her such difficulty she could hardly believe it. he claimed she had swapped out a bad loaf of pumpernickel at home and was now trying to deceive and swindle the store out of a few bucks. now despite this woman’s loyal patronage to the store over time, what a slap in the face to be accused of such a thing. all she wanted was the bread she paid for so she could have the sandwich she wanted in the first place. what a hassle for something so simple!?!

the manager even went so far as to lift a sticker off the expiration date and reveal a bag which should have gone bad nearly a month previous. no wonder whatever bread was in the bag had gone rotten! nonetheless, the manager did all he could to make the woman out to be some sort of thief; a scam artist, and she felt nothing but helpless and saddened by the whole ordeal. who could accuse this loyal customer of such treachery and greed, when she was honest and of pure intention. all she wanted was a bloody sandwich in the first place.

just then, one of the stocking clerks came to the service desk where the woman and manager had been sorting things out. the woman noticed a labelling gun and a two bags of bread, one wheat and one pumpernickel. without realising, the clerk interrupts to ask his manager “sir, we’re out of labels…” immediately the woman knew what had been going on: the manager was swapping out expired bread with replaced freshness labels, and selling them to unsuspecting customers in order to earn the store those “few extra bucks.” and understandably, he was protective of those dollars when someone disputed the scam, by making false claims and accusations against the customer, no matter how fictitious or frivolous; so that the customer would give up, give in, and get lost; him having “won.”

though seeing he’d been caught–running this scam behind customers’ backs–his face turned bright red, and he handed over her a new bag of wheat bread and refunded her cash, hoping it would satisfy her, and absolve his own greed and selfishness. she accepted the gesture, but would think twice when craving a sandwich before she would feel comfortable shopping there again.