Category: thought of the day

so the other day i was ranting about the state of fradulent information posted by minors. well here’s another nitpick on the photos people post.

first is the ‘bedhead’ photo. you know the ones… where it looks like the person was caught unexpectedly while enroute to the bathroom in the morning; all pale-faced and sick-looking. it’s fine that photos like this occur, but please folks, there is nothing flattering about them, so why post them to the world as the (sometimes only) image to be THE image most representing of yourself?

second is the ‘foreign/strange child’ photo. in these, we often see the person share the spotlight with a child, usually one that isn’t their progeny, but rather a godchild, niece/nephew, friend’s kid, etc. i find two issues with this. first, kids are supposed to be cute…that’s how nature makes them, so we don’t pitch their whiny asses out the door when they get annoying. by posing with a child, unless the kid is really ugly or you’re far above average in the looks department, you’re going to look worse by comparison. second, because the focus is split, people often feel the need to disclaim the child isn’t theirs, perhaps to eliminate the thought we all probably have anyway upon seeing someone with a young child: that you might be a whore or some other equally negative connotation. this disclaimer usually manifests itself in one of two ways: a byline which appears in text near the photo (“not my kid!”), or a disturbingly messy scribble over the photo from MS Paint’s airbrush tool, usually in pink or black, and always with such sloppy craftsmanship that with even rudimentary skills of handwriting anaylsis, your opinion is overshadowed by the discontent that the person may be mentally incapacitated to some extent. i mean, if you’re going to ‘retouch’ a photo, let’s put a little more effort into it so it doesn’t look like the work of Big Bird on an LSD binge while being autoerotically asphyxiated by snuffleuppagus’ fuzzy proboscis.