what a lovely weekend. after a long week, i am ecstatic that i wasn’t forced to sit inside for its duration. granted, i ended up doing that for some of it anyway, but what else am i supposed to do at 10pm? oh yes, i went for a 2 hour walk. blistered the shit out of my feet, but it was a nice walk nonetheless.
in the past week i’ve learned two things about technology: i love wireless networking and my new ipod. both are just so handy! for someone like me who enjoys music as much as i do, i don’t know how i lived without an ipod until now. yes, i could play 6 cds at a time in my car, or plenty of mp3s on my various computers, but being able to shuffle between 5 thousand of my favourite songs instantly is unbelievable.
i’m working on a new poem, but it seems to be a verse short; as if i have one more idea to squeeze in that would complete the thought. speaking of poems, i received an email from someone who apparently wanted to share his analysis of my last poem. interesting that he prefaces it by saying that he only spent 10 seconds doing so (alluding that the work was that shallow, i’m guessing) and that was because he needed assistance from his infant son. add that to the fact that the analysis itself was riddled with so many misspellings and grammar errors that it was nearly unintelligible, leading me to believe his son typed it as well. needless to say, his interpretation was way off-mark, because he chose to attempt a psychic siphon of my mind instead of his own. as they say, ‘never assume; it makes an ass of u and me.’ of course this happens to be someone i don’t know, who has never met me, heard my voice nor anything about me–first-hand anyway. i did also find it utterly interesting/humorous that he (and the rest of his family) immediately associated the word ‘assclown’ with the patriarch of their family. they must not know it generally means ‘douchebag’, or maybe they do? i wonder why this man doesn’t take offence that his family thinks this of him?
indeed i’ve received both rants and raves over that last poem. raves from people who i don’t know–strangers who visited the site. rants from people who think they either know me, or know something about it or who it might be about, even after i’ve clearly exonerated any idea by stating how my poetry is written vaguely to enable people to interpret things however they wish, almost never about anyone nor anything in specific. those ranters clearly missed the theme of the piece, which is almost biblical in nature, however crass in language: “judge not, lest ye be judged”, and also “don’t judge a book by its covers: nor the artwork nor synopsis upon them”. yet these people not only miss the point, but prove it by judging me and making all sorts of wild accusations and threats, as well as claims of clairvoyance and other supernatural feats. what-ever! i could just as easily have written it with all sorts of pretty language and skirt around for a page and a half; but angry, filthy words were intentional–a tool to reinforce the mood, intensity, and was completely an artistic choice.
i’ve recently received criticism from the same group of people (amazing how much time they spend on me, if they genuinely hate me so much; i feel so special and honoured!) that they are displeased with the fact that i have my own site, claiming that i have “created [my] own universe in which [i] am god; judge, jury, and executor; where [i] can hide in my internet fantasies, and smite that which [i] don’t agree with” (not an exact quote, but a paraphrase of the various sources). truth be told? tough shit. this is my site; i paid for it, designed it, host it, and use it solely as a means to express myself. i do not suppress anyone’s opinion here, but i will remove untrue, derogatory, defaming, or otherwise slanderous or libellous misinformation and hearsay; and have done so in the past; not just to others, but also myself when approached with a reasonable, polite and factual correction. for those who have recently been affected by me censoring your posts to my forum: the offending information and person(s) were warned multiple times, yet you chose to submit blatant falsities or other untruths anyway, and while yes, some opinion did exist within these posts; it was neither worth my time to edit the whole thing down and remove the errors nor would it have made much sense going from 1 page down to about 2 sentences; it was easier to remove the bit altogether. if you don’t like my site or don’t like me, fine… don’t visit this site nor spend your valuable time here; get your own damn site. geesh… if it isn’t signed by matthew, mark, luke, or john; some people just go to pieces!
one last note that i couldn’t quite weave into that last paragraph: one of these people go so far with his displeasure as to assert that i have a small penis because i have my own site, and he has no control in it. obviously that must be true, i mean it’s such an obvious correlation; one any random, snarky bastard with half a vocabulary and not half an ounce of familiarity with me would be able to invent. it’s a little like making a random crank call and calling the victim a ‘big dumb-head’. there’s only one person in your network of nitwits who knows the size of my penis, and it isn’t you buddy! (though considering this guy thinks his dad is a twatted cunt, i could make my own assertion that he has some homo-erotic and paternophilic preoccupation or even a passing fancy of myself; but i won’t, because i don’t assume such things about people i don’t know.) the thing about this particular group of people is this military, macho sadism where they are easily agitated with anything they aren’t–or can’t be–in control. they don’t like that i’m not a military man, a badge/gun-toting right-wing ultra-conservative, a generic christian (catholic isn’t ‘good enough’), and that i won’t submit my life and all that i am to their whims and surrender control of my last remaining thought to them and their way of life (can you say cult?). the world does not revolve around you, folks, and even if it did; your density is so profound it would implode the universe into a black hole and enact a reverse ‘big bang’ collapsing this entire dimension and destroying all that is. i’m quite thankful for my individualism, free will, and freedom of speech. i’ll leave judging others to a higher being as well… i never thought any of you were qualified to sit substitute for a deity of any religion, not even the little wooden buddha statues. i’m sure it’s a catholic sin to wish eternity in hell for someone, so i won’t; but if i could, i definitely would.
that’s all… for now. i might have more to vent later. also check for that new poem–coming soon!
listening to: my new ipod 